hmmm

Every year, without fail, the world counts down to the end of my birthday. I find that the older I grow, the lesser this occasion is to moi. (do I say this every year??)

Now, a couple of days ago.. i teasingly ask my ahbang to prepare some activities to make the day a surprise and see what he can come out with. Although he is really poor in that department but this sweet fellow did not even try to protest. Working in this new company has improved his sensitivity alot more. a few days ago, he saw that I asked my MIL to come along with us to see count down if we are going somewhere on NY's eve. So he decided to do something impromtu today. no pic cos it was kinda planned by ahbang to be unplanned.. am I getting somewhere with that statement?

No plans, juz go with the flow..

We went to do some mini shopping at Tangs, Isetan, Scotts, Pacific World (spent less that 20 mins in one place).. head down to Liang court's Audio place since my DVD player had given up after 2 years ++ . However, we did not invest in anything expensive on impulse. Then, since Clarke Quay is around the corner, we just checked it out. go with the flow...

We were really taking in all that's there, boy.. so much have changed and it's been sometime since we took time off by ourselves to explore. I particularly enjoyed the "free show" at G-max reverse Bungy thingy some tourist was doing. I might try that one day cos it really looks fun.

Along the way, we checked out the entire stretch of offers on food then decided on Hot Stone steak while we were on the way back to Forbidden City . I guess the latter will wait for another special day.

The food was really scrumptuous but that's besides the point. While we were hanging around for our mud pie, we heard our next table neighbour asking for 1 for 1 promotion birthday treat. Our ears picked up and ahbang found out that the person on birthday month has 1 for 1 main course with UOB card! heh, that's a real treat since we really did not plan on being C&G (cheap and good).

that about wrap up my BD celebration, it's gonna be a family day tomorrow so not so much on BD celebration. But it's nice not having the need to work or take leave :)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy NEW YEAR everyone!.. May 2006 be a year of accumulation of fond memories. Cheers!

wat could it be?

my Reporting officer wants to see me at 4pm to discuss "something". Being a perpetual pessimist, my thoughts are running wild.

Could it be that my performance is not up to par?
would I be ask not to blog (read/write) during office hours even if it's freaking boring at work.
Could it be that my KPI is not met thus no bonus?
....

.. what could it be??

work on it!

It was a really great and restful long weekend. recalling some highlights...

Christmas eve:
Had a nice sweet family dinner at Swensens. With topless five, each get to have their fav flavour in the same bowl.

Christmas:
quote of the day (from Tasha): We must remember to say thank you God when we eat today because it's Jesus's birthday.

another reason for family gathering at my place. We organised the games and "Bingo" was a hit. My nephew was the winner and gained $66 and his mum paid $10 for five tickets.
That 45mins was the only period ALL was involved. Usually, this would happen:
5 out 9 children stuck at X-box after a board game (varies between Risk and Monopoly).
1 niece will stick her nose in her book most of her entire attendence.
My daughter and 1 nephew will explore the other many non-electronic games in the house.
1 nephew will be at the computer with the LAN world out there.

4 adults will be together doing dry swimming.
3 ah-sohs (including moi) with Elder ah soh will chat about urm... recent trips, cooking recipes, new school...
the rest will watch Tee Vee or be spectator of the majong game that is going on.

Post Christmas:
great to wake up after a busy day and rest. The children ride their bikes and we roller blade (try to, we ain't any pro) at the nearby park. Hubby was "jioed" to play majong and the children wants to play with their cousins, I had a wonderful afternoon napping, catching up with my Korean serials.

looking forward to the up and coming long weekend :)

reminders:
Since 2005 is coming to an end soon, I have decided to kick my own ass and get some things I've procrastinated, done. Some notes to keep me noted...

1) buy Nathan's new school books ~ done this morning
2) pack up the study cum computer table ~ done yesterday
3) pack up my magazines
4) go through my cookies recipes and stock check ~ done yesterday
5) make choc chop cookies
6) file recipes from magazines and misc.
7) print some pictures and start on the scrapbook x 3, so that children can keep theirs in future and I get to keep mine with ALL pictures in tact : 3 months project.

Ho ho.. it's that time of the year again!

Let's be of good cheer.. Thank God for His great gift.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ops update

We decided not to go ahead with Nathan's op that was suppose to happen today.

What happened was the charges came as an unpleasant surprise, I received a call on the 21st,

Admission Nurse (AN) : hello Mrs Teo, i'm calling to confirm Nathan's date for the surgery.

Moi: yes, i understand from Dr H that it will be on the 23rd but do we have to fast him from food and water and what time do we have to do that. Also, when do we admit him?

AN: you can restrict his intake on food and water from 11am onwards. By the way, did Dr mentioned to you that he will be doing the surgery at 5.30pm and that is after office hours?

Moi: no.. what does that mean?

AN: that means that if the op takes place during those timing, the patient would need to stay in a one-bedder.

Moi: so.. what are the charges?

AN: about $7000 to $8000.

Moi: er... must he schedule that during that time, we are taking leave to get him to do the op...

AN: perhaps you want to cancel this and get an appointment to see the doctor and discuss this again?

Moi: can I speak to him over the phone?

AN: no..

Back from Ko Ko korea

the ko-dest temp we encountered in Korea was -20, that was on 19th Dec in the morning at 9am. The average temp was -13 degree celcius.
It was a real eye opener for all of us. For me, I learnt more about my children, esp Tasha whom has displayed signs that she has developed some very personal character of which I have not really noticed before.

The bonus for this trip: my dream of white Christmas happened! And I spent it with my loved ones.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...


the immediate thing I did when I reached home was to thank God for the perfect temperature we have in Singapore and the mattress I have to snooze in.

not sure if i have the mood to do a travelogue. we'll see.

before all of us turn 32

It's been a while since we last met. we met about 19 years ago (gosh!!) and this clique kinda got on rather well even though we parted ways for a while in Sec 3 and 4. Parted more ways in our tertiary days and somehow 3 or 4 years ago, we decided to do a recall and met periodically since then.

I muz try to scan one of the pic we had on the EC beach, when we were all young farts with the idealistic tots about love and life.

Today, one more month before we step into the new year and walk into our 32nd years of life, cheers!

two mummies, one attached, two very single. Guess who fits into the cat.

Rare Primate Pole dancer

a rare sight eh? but wonder why this mini orang-utan has a pained look...

:(

Last night, I hugged and kissed my children nightynight. I ask them if they loved me.
The very instant reaction:
Nathan: yes
Natasha: no la

two heartbeats later,
Nathan: yes, yes.. frown at Tasha
Natasha: okay la, yes la.

I conclude that I am not doing a good job as a mom.

so far in Dec..

The highlights of Dec.

Chestnuts was as nutty as it got. For the entire 2 hours, my cheeks were well exercised, that means during the intermission, I was smiling whilst thinking of the incredible spoof hossan and Jonathan did.
hahahahahahahaha.. Climb mountain every...... by Yoda Hossan

Aiyah, I was so filled with excitement joining a new company after so many years, I forgot about the Estee sales. Anyway, save money la.

Chicken little was a disappointment after all the hype. The only thing I learnt from him is "everyday is a new day". Smile and strive when facing adversity. Nathan says he learnt not to lie. Natasha learnt that Nathan ate more pop corns than him.

New Job.. err... I'm a moaner by nature. So here I go.

it's nuclear concept so I have no cubicle. Only tiny desk, I suppose sales must always be out thus such idea but that means no privacy.. shit.

Totally different type of business, so much to unlearn and relearn. Plus, at this level, I don't get any training at all. I'll just need to swim around and see how to survive. Got to work on 5 items ~ 3 tenders that is due this month.

Some people here has poor, erm very poor EQ. I pardon them but strange culture they have here.
They ask me not to wear heels, the guys here are generally quite short.. in height (what were you thinking?)
No good looking gals or guys.. sigh
Gals here totally don't have any regards for their work clothes. Very different from gals from City. Don't get offended please for those who fit into this category.
Lunch time includes a solemn time out of 10 mins.. nothing to say even in a group of 6 people. Except for the first two days, the heat of Standard Chart's marathon took over the entire 1 hour lunch break.

People here don't lock their notebooks or bags. It's all over the place. they say it's really safe with the highly secured environment. CCTV and access rights. Totally uncomfortable for me.
They even look the contents in your PC whilst you take a break to photocopy stuff.
I am using a very old model of laptop even though we are selling the latest model of hardware, the trackpoint sometimes goes haywire, the RAM is super low thus speed is super slow.

Some of the stuff here are like Tamil to the Mohicans as to me. I am swimming in a lost pool.
People here work 10.30am to 9pm. I prefer 8.30am to 6pm leh.
I really dunch know how long I'll stay...

The good side is:
90% lesser phonecalls and emails. My skin is improving cos lesser stress, I think.

redemption for the pissing session

Got myself feeling so unpleasant previously.

I really should be looking at the brighter side of life.

packed-schedule month coming up:

1 Dec: Revenge of shooting stars, starring Hossan Leong
2 Dec: hope to catch Chicken little with children
3 Dec: Elizabeth Arden sale at Suntec
5 Dec : start work at nice place.
10 Dec: my Ah girl's 5th birthday mini celebration.
11 Dec: Her actual day, will bring her dine out
14-20 Dec: ski tour in Korea wif children
21 Dec: small group christmas dinner at Mansonic Club
23 Dec: Nathan's operation at NUH on his right arm.
25 Dec: Home Christmas get together

CNY in Jan 06, that means the homemade egg roll exercise will start almost immediately after Christmas break.

Pissed

Pissed 1:
We were having dinner at Sakae two couple of nights ago, we had Sukiyaki, some sushi, okonomiyaki, kagiage, Unagi don ... I was famished but he has to give all the negative comments about the food. So irritating. It nearly spoilt my appetite if I did not ask him to stop.
"the soup is not as nice as the one at Wisma"
"the Kagiage is not as nice as the one at orchard"
"the standard dropped so much!"

I remain silent thru out and tried to ignore the large part of the negativity. Cos mostly, he is such.

As a result of non-response, the comments increase and there was not a single nice comments and it would somehow affect the way the food tasted even though it was originally rather palatable.

So I calmly told him that
firstly, Thank God for the spread we have and the luxury of food. Second, these are all wonderful hot food and taste is alright. Thirdly, we never had Kagiage at orchard before, Simei was the first time we had it and that was when I introduced it to him.
Adding that if he does not keep his trap shut, it is really affecting me.

He showed his frustrations that I cannot concur with him so he curl his lips for a while and ate most of his meal in silent.

That was the older man in my household and mind you, that was not the first nor the last. Besides his mum's cooking, his negativity is killing me literally.

Now, I am not saying that one should not even give any comment about food but just be polite, saying it once is more than suffice. Don't expect others to agree.
Plus, I usually do not volunteer my opinion if the food does not deserve 3/4 stars out of 5. I would only voiced it if the food was burnt, overcooked, undercooked and the comments will go straight to the restaurant and not to the people ard me, affecting their appetite.

argh, when will he learn???

Pissed 2:

After presenting the rock, he literally spend 70% of his home time with the PC on soccer results. I would rather have good quality time with him than to spend it with the ring with rock.

Pissed 3:

He was responsible for arranging for Nathan's appointment for ops since September as he laments that he is very free at work, almost bored to death. I had the RFP etc to finished. Till date, he has not given me a single confirmation and he has tai chi it to me when I kept asking him about the status.


Pissed 4:

I reminded him to do more savings since we don't have much and I can see that he is not doing a proactive job in doing that. He hurt me by commenting that we should not have gone for any overseas trip then, erm and I am the payer of the Korea trip we will be making. Co-ordinator as well, spending time to pay the monies, collect the bag, go for the briefing, finding out info... It's not appreciation I am looking, just not attack is good enough. To add to that, I have savings parked aside besides paying for this trip for the family.

Pissed 5:
I will start at my new office on 5 Dec, he kept insisting that I meet this ex-colleague of his. I told him I will do so after settling in. He gave a ton of comments about how good network is impt in the new co unlike my current co. What really cuts me is that he does not understand the depth of my job and why is he giving me so much unneccessary advise?

There, I have rant it all. I am feeling a tad better than before.

how come...

Natasha actually had fever last Friday but she recovered almost immediately so we didn't think much of it. She is one strong young lady.

Then, after a finished a karaoke session with my sis on Tues nite, I was told that Nathan had fever. Our family doc informed us that it is prob viral infection. Then, when I reached home, I realised I was running a temperature too...

So both of us had our fever see-sawing up and down yesterday. due to some event, I still had to report to work. I don't really care much about work liao la... so decided to take abreak and have a real MC for once.


erm.. say only ...

I think I am really poisoned by work, I am still accessing my work email and will be calling one of my client later.

For hubby ~ thank You!!

When we married, we were young and money was really tight. Unlike couples today, a diamond engagement ring is a must before the young lady say yes to walk the aisle. I am no different in yearning for such material things but have never let it rule over our relationship.

Although unspoken, I know that my hubby would like to give me one of those sparkling stone if the time is ripe. Yesterday, he presented me with a solitaire ring, with a lot of engineering research (colourless, minor particles include etc) and love.

I was so touched. Speechless in fact. He rave on about the research he did on diamond but I was already drunk with the love he is showering.

Well done sonny boy

Nathan's results:

English overall: 88. combined from a project work to replace CA2 which got him only 63/100.
SA2 main paper score is 92. unknown of what is the breakdown of oral, listening compre and compo.

Chinese overall: 88.

Mathematics: 98.

Now, I am pretty happy with his results but wondered why his English was pulled down so low.
I understand from the boy that it was a project work about Animals, which I vaguely remembered passing him some brochures for materials. He admitted that he did not do well for the presentation. I don't blame him.

Don't you think kids has it tough these days? Not only must they do well in oral, listening comprehension, composition, written main paper. They must be able to do well in project work plus presenting it with flair.

For hubby ~ Missing You

Phew.... what a racket the thunder created last night.
Good thing you were home to hold and be held. It would have been too traumatic to face such awful night alone.

My ah girl presents ~ hoogabangga

At 4 years and 10 months old. I thought she really did well for this year's concert.
The waiting time for the concert was unfortunately unpleasant, someone accused me of cutting queue but I chose to ignore her.

Anyway, all 5 of us managed to get a good seat and Natasha manage to be performing at the side where we were sitted. Beautiful.

It was an eye feast for that night. All the children did their part intelligently and the pre-nursary caused more commotion than the rest of the performers.

And he's not wrong either

The home assessment really makes my brain work doubly hard.
Some interesting extracts that make us tick.

English:

John use a ______ of soap.
a) bar b) bottle c) box

Nathan's answer: bottle.
Model answer: bar

erm... these days, kids only get to use liquid soap. how long ago was this assessment compiled? dated Mar 2004.

It's been a good 8 years

He turns 8 today. He blew out all the little candles by himself and cut the cake to signify his another year of growth.

As cliche as it sounds, time sped by too fast. It's so different year on year on his expectation of this occasion but I know this child does not mind simplicity. He told me (before I even decide on anything) that he does not want anything but a meal at Sakae Sushi.

The year 8 years ago still lives vividly in my memory. I remembered 3 days after I held him home, I stared intently at him after his breastfeeding session and wondered how I brought a child who resembles somewhat like a baby of precious moments ( in my eyes). How amazing a life could be. And almost every middle of the night, I would somehow subconsciously wake up and make sure he is still breathing. The fear of losing him was so intense.

It's no different today actually. I look at his handsome face and melts when he smile so proudly at some things he has done great or like today, he felt happy that he had just a simple birthday cum extended family gathering with some sushi, pizza and a wonderful choc fudge cake from Jane's cake station.

Oh and I muz put this into record, my dear child knows the word "f**k" and also he is not into keep things from us.
Last nite, hubby and son was playing scabble and I was flipping magazine lazily whilst hearing them play on.

Father: hey, what are you trying to put? there is only space for three letters.
Son: can't I put f-*-*-k here? I know it's a bad word but there IS such word right?

Me, trying my utmost best to suppress a laugh. Locked eye with hubby. Hubby covered mouth to avoid LOL. Son still trying to fix the word in.

Me: urm, I think the word does not exist in the dictionary so it's not an official word. Furthermore, you can't put a bad word in.

Son: issit? but why s-h-i-t is okay but not f..

(you get the idea).

SSSOOOO, he ALREADY knows, despite not teaching him. mind you, we are not a family who spews words like that all over. Not even hokkien ones.

Anyway, this boy does not even bat an eye when he describes how a man and woman makes a baby. The biological way of cos.

Amidst of the guerulling week, I made it. I pluck up my courage to speak to my current RO about my intentions to leave her team.
Her eyes enlarged thrice the normal size it usually was and then it took her seconds to register, recompose and ask for the reason and whereabouts I am heading.
I have got the clearance from the SD from Marketing to join his team but I will be supporting my current group eventually. Well, at least that is the initial plan. We need to track carefully with this cos we are talking about going through 3 very shallow, shortsighted and narrow minded ladies.
haha, the funny thing is that my lateral move, she hopes, will only take place in March 2006! That is as good as my EVP's level when he decides to tender. Am I so indispensable that I can only be release to join the other group then?? Puzzled and looking innocent, I ask. If I were to tender today, clearing my leave and what naughts, I can leave within two weeks time!
She gave the reasons that there's gonna be a reorg soon and it is not fair for the replacement. Hello, if I were her, I will get in the replacement first and when the reorg takes place, let the Dir and the HR worry over the headcounts. Furthermore, I am leaving a gold mine. I have just closed a >0.5 mil worth of WAN deal and my accounts will go into perfect health and even exponential at the end of the FY. If I can even make a decision to leave those to someone else, why can't she let me go and have my life? She just want to meet her own agenda and can't she be more honest about it?

Enough said about this. Think it's just too sad that the org actually let people like them rule.

but anyway, I hope that another job I am pinning on do offers. Then I won't be at the mercy of such internal politics.

*******************************
On a happier note, a new baby is coming on board Mar/Apr 06. It's gonna be a nephew. yay!

Nathan's recent home assessement had been inconsistent, hovering in the 80s. I hope he bucks up as I know that his composition may pull some marks down.

Tasha had been keen to show us some of the movements she'll be doing for the concert. Bum shaking is taking 90% of the entire performance. haha.

the makes of me

at a traffic light, a little 50s lady approached.

Ole lady: mam, please donate to the handicapped. It's just $10 and Auntie has been working in the rain for quite some time already you know.

Me, hesitating cos green man says to cross: erm.. sorry... I am rushing. And I donated before (REALLY okie).

Ole lady: do it for a good cause again, you will be a great help.

Me: sorry...

Ole lady, cut my lane: please buy..

Me (mumble): feel like being emotionally blackmailed.

Ole lady: no no, what do you mean I blackmail you.

Me: I really need to go, sorry.. No, I don't want to buy anything now.

Ole lady, "gin" at me, point her nose upwards: fine, whatever, up to you.

Me: >.<


Does this incident makes me any less charitable???? I hate feeling so oblige to donate when I can't even think about it!

catching up

have not been writing and whenever I have time for internet, I would simply read other blogs.
just to catch up on some events this month.
Look at this absolutely happy face, she is getting married when I took this.

This was last Friday when we went on leave for a day of "tai-tai'ing. We head off to do our hair after a nice prata breakfast. Then we relax at Book Cafe for lunch and non-stop yakking. We adjorn to do our mani and pedi before I fetch her to her bridal shop to do the rest of her bridey stuff.

Isn't she gorgeous even if she was half way thru. I was not able to take any more pics cos the day was just swamped with activities. I certainly hope that she will be married happily ever after.

~~~~~~~~~~~foodie

It's gonna be a jolly good month to makan good food! UOB rolled out some great 1-1 deals that is simply irresistable,

we went for Renn Thai and it was *burp* yummy. I lurvvee Phad Thai.

We had that, Pineapple rice, Tom Yum Gai and bbq sotong and the bill came up to be $32.

Wow...

packet

13.38hrs: just finished all the "live firing" from various channels ~ emails, phonecalls, meetings.

No one in sight to have lunch and I have a meeting at 14hrs. Had to packet my food up. I don't usually like this mode of lunch cos:
1) I like my food steaming hot. Which explains why my pick for food is soupy or hot stone items.
2) I hate food that seems to look like one dish when they are suppose to be separated. That means, I don't mind salted rice (rice with mushroom, dried shrimp, chinese cabbage)
3) I have the tendency to want to work on something on the PC than relax and eat.
4) I am one step towards being environmental unfriendly.
5) I like to get some sun for the noon.

But this is suppose to be celery (one dish), chicken chop (one dish) and rice with curry gravy. Now the fried chicken pieces are soggy. The rice cold. dipping celery in curry sauce is never practiced.

funny~

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other, I will grant you each one wish. "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! -two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and -abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story..... Men might be ungrateful idiots.... But fairies are......female

too scary

Cold sweat. It was a bad dream. The worst of nightmares.

As I described my dream verbally to a friend, I almost choke to tears. I doubt I can ever handle a loss so great.

cannot remember much of the details but it started when I "knew" I was pregnant (in the dream), someone at the background says I'm trying to conceive a boy because I lost one. I turn to my husband and ask what the person meant when she said that. He looked intently at me and told me to recall what that Nathan did not make it. I asked since when. ...

and I woke up with a jerk. I jumped out of bed and quickly went to see my children. Nathan is sleeping peacefully (breathing too), Tasha is fine.

What came over me? I don't know. I vaguely remember that Chinese says that usually if you dream of something bad, something good is going to happen to the person...

1st branded sunnies

At the bluesky event, I was attracted to a pair of Guess sunglasses as the design is great. But I wasn't so keen with the colours offered:
Pink shade with gold rims (er.. too fashionable for moi).
light grey with silver rims (does not seem to be able to ward off any glare).

The shop assistance however was so eager to sell me the pair that they told me that they will get Guess to indent for a pair of dark grey one with the same design for me. I waited for 2 months for it but it's worth it.

hmmm... I look slimmer at this angle. So how, do you think it's nice?

Rendevous with hubby

Hubby was in generous mood today. Perhaps cos he felt that he owe it to me. Anyway, that's another story.

We headed for my all time favourite Ramen restaurant. I am so in love with the Dan dan noodle. It's soup base has some peanuty, hot spicy with porky broth.

Not many people would rave about the place. A food reviewer commented that the service is deserves 2.5 stars out of 5, I might give the same too but so far, they had been cordial.

The food had 3 stars from him, I would have given 4 stars.

Atmosphere, yeah, 2.5 stars is enough.

If you decide to drop by, do try the prawn tempura just melt in the mouth. But pricey hor. $5 per prawn, minimum serve is 4 pcs.

Kado Man Restaurant: 10 coleman st. #01-21 Grand plaza ParkRoyal Hotel.

~~~~~

I brought my boy for his surgery check up yesterday and the Doc brought in a fellow "sufferer". that is how he termed it. This lil gal, all of 4 years old is a talkative and has a glib tongue. She's one of those kid who is ever optimistic about stuff and speaks her mind freely. She just had her ops a week ago for three places, also a case of extoses (a.k.a. extra bones) and when her father pushes her stroller in, she seems to be rather cheerful.

The doc adores the things she said, like "what do you mean by sufferer? I've never heard of such word". She observes my son and commented " he does not really like to talk much".

Then all of the sudden whilst we were making small talks .. she said, looking at my son.

"excuse me, but I think you mummy is very beautiful."

Wow, was that referring to moi? hahaha.. that really made my day man and young children don't lie. Okay most young children don't lie.

~~~~

My mum pushed into her crazy mode yesterday. She bang down the line on me when I picked up her first call and when I refused to pick up her second call, she left a nasty message on my voicemail, blasting away.

Already she irritated the hell out of me saying weird things. It's all cos she wants her face... she is one strange woman.

Poor sis is feeling all messed up by her strange outburst.

GAStronomical time. Unpleasant one though

This is the 5th executive month I had consistently took MC. I was a super healthy babe, my stomach tough as steel and I seldom cough. I was as strong as mule before this reorg that took place in April this year.

It was a totally depressing Monday. It was beyond my work scope what I could handle yesterday. 45 mins before official work time is over, I walked out. Stroll to collect my photos and I knew I had the glazed look on my face. I lost. I felt so depress that it felt numb from head to toe.
There is some really nice kind soul out there. I must have look kinda terrible, a big guy offered his seat to me in a crowded MRT train and silly me thought he was going to alight. He did not alight till 6 stops later. I could not bring myself to do anything. I just dumped myself and my stuff on the sofa and not move. I just wanted to stay blank for a period of time. Not willing to think of anything at all, not willing to pick up another telephone call, not willing to move a limb.
i snoozed in and out till hubby came home with dinner. The gastric pain kicked in full force and I felt I could not swallow anything, the fragrant rice felt like stone and tasty veg and meat taste bland. I ate a mouthful. I was entire depressed.
What came out good was I knew hubby is there for me. the gastric spasm came and go, LS a few times. I managed to go to sleep in a strangest position. Thank God for that.

this morning, I beat my own will to go to work. I was still feeling sore at the gastric area. I just could not cancel a appointment I had arranged.
It was a pleasant meet up, here is a wonderful client who really trust me and gave me his support. It's such a bonus to meet such person.
Looks like today is a day with lesser adversities.

speedy weekend

the weekend sped past. I felt like I was hit in the gut on Sat. It was incredible how I dealt with that day when I recall it now.

Woke up feeling quite fresh at 8am, things started off pretty okay.. drove to MIL's place to pass them mooncake, picked up sis and headed for mum's place to pass her the invitations for tea ceremony and wedding dinner. Sis had to accompany her to buy the gown for that night.

then it all came crashing. We left for Bedok for car polish and had our brunch with prata and Roti John at 10am. We told them we needed the car by 12pm but they did not manage to do complete polishing in time and we left at 12.50pm.
Now, the children's art class and my pilates class starts at 1pm. We were all 30mins late for our lessons, making it very stressful for hubby. Then we thought that it was okay later in the afternoon. My MIL called and insisted that we need to attend a wedding dinner that night, we rejected going earlier cos we assume we had bible study that evening and since BS is cancelled, we had to oblige and agreed to go for dinner.

Whilst hubby and Tasha took their beauty nap and Nathan playing SCV games online, I had a awful time from 2pm till 6pm, trying to deal with the most incredibly stupid customer.

during that time, they headed to the pool without me (Nathan has swimming lessons) and I had to quickly dress up for the dinner.

Things then slowed down ... the dinner went well. Tasha was a gem at dinner.

at 11.30am, children and hubby call it a day. I was still struggling with a contract that is needed on Monday and 1 stupid report collation. Finished work at 2am. could not sleep till 3am.

Sunday...
Good thing it rained and hubby did not insist of wet marketing. could sleep in more than usual.
At sunday school, I almost zombied out. Instead of resting, we mop ard town for stuffs.

Marina Square had a winter wear retail outlet that gives 15% storewide, we needed to complete the clothes we need to prepare for Korea winter experience. We then headed for Courts since my iron broke down on me. We then headed Carrefour for the week's grocery. We completed those task at 5.30pm and we were expected to be at my MIL's place for dinner cum latern festival gathering.
By then, I was rather feeling sick in the gut, my head was running thru the week's activities and ... it was not going to be a pleasant week.

This means:
Pay day. stress. = ARGGH fats inducing food.

(L-R)
Le Cafe Confectionery's round (and huge) pineapple tarts. M&S Almond cookies. M&S lightly salted chips. Hacks blackcurrent sweets. Le Cafe Strawberry swiss roll. Rochor Road tau fa.



You can make a guess where I was taken for lunch today.

*******

A new young mummy is born when her foetus made it to the world today. Another, Karyn, who is due soon had to rest at home for a week as she is diagnose with pre-Eclampsia. Have no idea why this would happen to a perfectly fine young girl (28 years old ). She needs prayers.

What a world of difference in experience for both of them.

continue...

half done post yesterday and I digress too much. Continue to digress

I have a lot of inert rebellion. All those years when I felt that I "suffered", I would have voiced it once. But it fell to unhearing ears. I would remain a hushed person till I break loose. It would be of no return of what I was determine to do in the next stage.

Basically, I was determine to get the grit of life by getting my diploma, get some savings and get of the house. I did it by getting married. They did not make it any easier, they demanded a ransom in my opinion. I was worth $12K. That was the first and last time I saw my father in law lose his temper. whilst he was kicking a fuss of how my parents were "selling" me, my parents sat inside their little shop smiling that they made someone so angry.

I almost stopped my relationship with them but I do have a heart and my religion does ask me to forgive. I try but they always play the devils advocate and make it really hard to love them.
On festive seasons, when it meant that I must give festive gifts or birthday ang baos.. I still fulfill my duty. They would rave about my cousin's children or the child my mum takes care but when it comes to my children, the kinship is strange.

enough of those rant. Back to my sis wedding preparation.

Instead of helping, they want to add things for us to do. The joke of the entire thing which was so evidently shameful was the bangle my mum wanted to give to my sis.
She thought of giving a diamond bangle to her but yet knowing her, she's too stingy to do that. She bought one for $800 (she claims) but at the looks of it, diamond industry might only have cost $400. She wore it on the day of food tasting, where my sis future parents in law was present too. She showed everyone that she may be giving my sis that bangle or she might get another one. She told me in private that she has one bracelet which she hasn't worn for some time as the clasp came loose. She laments that she needs to spend another $80 to redo the clasp and wash. hinting me to give her some $$. I feigned innocent.
Flustered, she says that she will re-think what she wants to give to my sis at the tea ceremony.

That, is only one of the disgusting thing she did.

Now, back to some brighter things on my happier part of life.
I am hoping to quickly jump ship soon.

quote of the day (N is my son, J is his cousin):
N: do you know that XX is the leading company in Asia?
J: how you know?
N: I read that "XX is the leading XXtions in Asia Pacific".
J: say only wat, got do meh?

Now that's funny.

Judging from this, my son is an info collector. He absorbs info like sponge and gullibly drink it all in and trust it wholeheartedly.
My nephew is more of a street wiser. He challenges the info given and makes judgement after he is being convinced.

Now, that is telling about the parents too eh?

here to stay

My parents are sucky when it comes to "negotiating" weddings.

They take and take and take. When it comes to giving, they rather keep quiet or keep giving hints that they cannot afford. My sister is now taking all of it in.

just for records, My mom has loads of savings, it's in x00,000. My dad is 59 and if he keeps a healthy lifestyle (stop smoking, stop downing cold sugared drinks), he could have work till good ole 65. And if he was anymore frugal than us, he would have accumulated a goldmine worth of savings. He rather launder it away at jackpots and pig/dog friends
My younger sis and I survived thru Secondary school base on our part time work. How much was school fees then? $3.50. We had NO private tuition, NO branded material on our bodies. Our uniforms, shoes etc came from the part time work that we did. I was more fortunate to be able to find work at SGH at 14 years old as a receptionist. My sis, poor gal, had to work for neighbourhood bakery selling tutu kueys.
I pulled thru Poly thru my full time work with various MCSTs before I met a decent boss who paid me $1300 to do his accounts and administrative work for his Wine magazine. Bear in mind I still had curfews to tackle.

Try this: to do administrative work = event organising wine tasting also. That, my parents will never understand
The wine cum dinner event starts at 7pm and usually dinner continues till 11pm. Wrapping up takes a good one hour and this ex-boss of mine always like to unwind with supper, knowing well that I don't usually eat much at such event. I was 18 years old then. I came home with a stormy looking set of parents, accusing me of playing and breaking the curfew. I was cinderella, that triumph I was riding home with became dust.
I had to deal with explanation and then try to see how much time I can spend to study... I hated the fact that I had to earn my own dough since 13 but yet I had still had to be under their mercy of staying in their house. Oh and not forgetting, I needed to pay for rental too.

I know that it's not like a was poor and had no education. I felt that my sis and I survived thru our youth and we are not obliged to pay for their bad habits ~ cigarettes etc. I am not against smoking but if you know that you would need your children to cough out money for your medication for stroke, high blood, diabetes and short breathes... then be considerate.

Compartively, my father in law who is now 67 years old yet he is as fit as a young rabbit. He is a great example for me to follow. Simple life has it's own joy. He spends nothing on himself and gives to my children even though he has no income anymore.
I still relied on their help with my children if my MIL did not hurt her knee.

*sigh* more later

secrecy

whom are we kidding these days? There is no personal blogging space in *ahem* the tiny red dot part of the world. Must use codes else I could be charged of sedition..

It somewhat relates to an incident when I was an adolescent. I kept (still keeps) personal diaries and somehow during those teenage years, there were more frustrastions and pain and those were all logged faithfully in those hard cover books. An occasion arose where they found that they were free and decided to find my diary without any search warrant. Afterwhich, I was punished for writing how I hated them for restricting my movements ~ then, it was mostly boys problem. I had my fair share of whacking at 14/15 years.

Go figure out the similarity.

Parents

Called home and felt really irritated with my parents.
My parents still does not understand kinship. my father had lost his entire family, due to his temper and also my mom's constant poisoning brainwashing of how evil that family of his is.
My mom is in constant battle with her sisters, at one point, took almost 20 years to resolve a hatred. She is so worried that we get any closer to anyone from her family that she needs to constantly give us word poisoning of how wicked they are. She fails to see her own jealousy and insecurity. At the same time, she does not know how to handle them, "political" if you wish to put it as.
*sigh* when will they grow up?

First personal blog

*wave* new to Blogger.
Just testing out how this would be, being into another blogging world.

My first blog came about when Sandra, an ex-colleague, started her LJ, I was amused by this private club thing. Also, I wanted to keep track of my children's milestone from there but then, I did not get to be very successful in that department. Initially, you have got to have some kind of password to get an LJ privilege. Today, it is free for all ~ for a basic acct. You can pay to get it done nicely and sorts.
Angelia was the first to give comment and welcome speech. Well, it kinda triggered off a bad habit ~ I became a comment whore. I check emails so that I won't miss any comments someone would make on my blog.

Marriage

My hubby just walked away feeling dissappointed with my actions.
We had a big fight over trivial issue this morning. It was inevitably cause by STRESS. it is in the blood of most working Singapore persons.
I mentioned I would love a bowl of good purmei lor mee. He says no time, I gave pathetic look of disappointment but let him know that it was alright. He gave a last minute turn to Purmei instead of heading for River Vally. I was delighted but I knew it is also sign for thin thread. He gave me 15 mins to complete breakfast. I quickly went to queue and ordered food seeing that it is empty, I had a bag and two heavy bowls on a tray. I saw no signs of him, flashed through my brains that he is so ungentlemen to not help me carry since I paid for the food.
I sounded my displeasure and he burst. There, I was, trying to determine those yellow noodles and bits down my throat and gut and feel utterly disgusted with him. He still does not get it and hallowed at me and insist that I was not understanding.

I was like ~ hello, I did NOT ask to have him to go to purmei at the very last minute. It occur to me that I can never be dependent on him, he would give you some and make sure that he gets it back double.
I told him that dissappointment (of not eating that lor mee in the morning) is easy to forget but hurt will take a long time to heal. And there, I just cannot forgive him at this juncture that he had done just that to me. How could I. forgetful I may be but i know that these hurts will always haunt me.

at least for now

Patched

hubby and I patched up last nite. No such thing as "ge ye chou" for marriage. Still, I will never venture to Purmei with him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark of another milestone for Nathan:
He took instructions from the phone on some of things I need him to do.
1) One English and one Maths home
2) Take his $2 allowance from the piano top.
3) Give his sister alphabet homework

Natasha has given us some good headache last nite. She's still not sure where the alphabet fits. V,W, F pose great challenge for her to write. Oh dear.. we do have a long way to go for her.