Food for thought and stomach

Sat morning, we were at tampines round market for breakfast. Ah girl is having her usual Soya milk with "You tiao" when she blurted, "Mummy look, they sell Sushi here too". I look up and indeed she was not entirely wrong, there it is... if you read the hanyu pinyin that is. in English Tasha says it is: Elephant rich Japanese sushi (heh)

-----------------

some time ago, the hubby took pains to queue two hours for this ...

It's really good and at S$1.20, it's such a bargain!

And the indulge before CNY even started.. Toast's chocolate cupcake! although steep at S$3.75, it's a reward food when you need it.

me, the monster or ...

Over the weekend, on Sat nite to be precise, I went into some hormonal rage. I realised that it was due to PMS later really.

After the dinner at Harbour city, well it had already kicked off some sparks between the hubby and I. It was just that my head was flooded with pain and I said things that provoke him, of which I had totally no intentions and did not think it was. Now, that IS a problem issn't it.
Then, in the middle of the night (1.40am) , my headache just grew and turning to him, I asked for the tiger balm that I thought it was at his side of the bed. He flared up and scream at me. I recalled being too hurt by his uncaring reaction and at the same time, afraid that he will hit me out of rage - something he had done before. All possible negative thoughts came all at once. That I did not come from a blessed family (ridiculed by my MIL a few times), that I was not someone who do work, home well. I could not hold friends together. I have no close girlfriend. No one ever replies the emails I send for encouragement etc.......
the thought of growing old with the hubby seems super bleak after I sat down at the living room to recover from the verbal blows. I felt I did not want to continue my marriage life with him at all. I proposed a divorce. Now, to think of it, I was whining for attention but did not know how.

Then, he was also not forgiving to the fact that I am so insensitive to his sleep routine and threatened that if I leave, he and the children will leave Christian faith.
I felt..... so sad or rather in mandarin 委. Throbbing with headache, not only was I not being understood and taken care of, I was repremanded for kicking a fuss and at the same time threatened.
Then, I swallowed whatever feeling I felt at that point and ask for forgiveness for disturbing him from sleep. I got some medication to treat my headache myself. We were in bed at 2.45am.

He did express his regrets later in the morning and tells me he loves me. I did not answer and it could hurt him alot.
If you ask me now what my feelings are. I am numb. I know it must be Satan's attack but I don't know what to feel towards the hubby. I need no advise for now cos I will snap at any which comes along. That could signify that I still grudge him for treating me that shabbily.

Anyways... it's over right. yeah, it's just once in a bluemoon huge marital fight. Sometimes, it emerge with victory, sometimes, like this one, I emerge more disillusioned ever.

funny how we turned out

15 years ago, when pondorosa was a common place to date. This friend,G, brought me to view the panaromic view of Singapore from Swissotel, then this hotel was by some other name. He asked me if I could be his special girl. I could not recipocate and felt really really really bad telling him I could not. Because he was really a nice guy and gave me tons of encouragements when I was down. No, I never regretted us not being together. And yes, we are still friends after that. Afterall, we really almost grew up in the same family church.

After I move out of that church, there was a few times we met but was not really able to chat. We had the opportunity to stand by the roadside and spend an hour sharing each others lives yesterday. He just finished a project for the company I'm employed and I just returned to the same company after a year out.
There were some mutual friends we brought up during our conversation. And we had to admit that it was strange how some of us took on vocations that is totally..... unexpected.

to digress a little.. it made me recall how I had a huge crush on friend, J that many moons ago. He was then a promising and talented pianist, I loved his humour - I doubt he could share mine cos I was not very vocal at that time. He had lotsa charisma (my opinion) and he also sings really well. Come to think of it, it is easier to swoon girls with great singing skills... right??
Anyhow, he didn't like me the way lovers do, I was just a friend, a good friend. He blatantly tells me that when we are older, we would laugh about how, you know, we did not get together. I did not think it was gonna be that way then. Not that I was bitter.. really. I thought being 30 is old and I'll never reach that age fast enough. haha.
Oh, I still treasure the drawing of a cartoon of me.. He remains now a sweet friend of mine. We were never soulmates anyway. Hope to meet up with him in USA when I visit the place.

there is also M, who is a dear, dear, dear friend of mine. He is so ever cynical and have all sort of weird ideas. We are not so in touch now but i have tons of memories of the way things were.

So there, we have now friends (some may be distant friend) who are pastor, entrepenuer, MNC employee, MOE teacher, SAHM, rich sales person, church worker, designer, lawyer, immigrants in USA/Australia....

some of us who did not know what be inspire, some of us are already what we inspired to be...

edit:

here is the pic which I still have from J.

Lunar New Year

Whee..with the 2 days holiday that is right after weekend, there were 4 full days to rest and not think of work. I liked the way my holidays turned out.

This year, to respect that fact that my dad passed on last March, we intent to keep CNY celebration lowkey... not as if I am in the mood too. I practically left most of the CNY stuff to my hubby, he got some goodies, put up the deco and bought the flowers. He almost bought the tulips just for me.. so sweet of him, but I didn't allow that to happen.

flowers for his mum, 20 roses at 10 bucks!

Friday nite saw me going home at 5.30pm (almost sharp) and we took the kids out for our own nuclear family dinner at soup restaurant at the airport cos it's near. It's the first for the kids and the hubby (cos they are forever tempted by sakae sushi to try others food) and they loved it. The soup has so much goodness, the begger's ribs were finger linking, the chicken and the ginger sauce so refreshing, there were 2nd, 3rd, last helpings to the claypot tofu, the veg if the kids eat chilli would have been great but it was delicious too.. we polished off the dishes and every bit of rice. So satisfying with the capital S that we did not have room to snack on Popeye wings .

We had a round of family boardgame before we hit the z-land.

The next day, the hubby and I were inspired to jog at the nearby park since we had no obligations/classes to rush. it's first for me to run continously for 2km. Nathan who is usually most unkeen to work out, ran with me too. We felt superb-ly refreshed! We promised ourselves that we must do the jog more often.

The reunion dinner with my hubby's extended family was pretty standard. At his mum's place, "free" healthy homecook food (steamboat) - what more can I asked *wink*. No, I am not complaining but every year, I always lament that it did not feel like a reunion dinner as each will take their bowls of rice and veg and sits in front of the Tee Vee. Those who mahjong-ed will rush thru meal so that players can play longer... well, that IS the tradition for their family, I guess.

The following days were bits and pieces of visitations.. there is however one which was memorable cos I almost teared on the spot. We went to my MIL's second's bro's home, he saw my girl (the only grandchild who is willing to pay visits this year) and started pouring play gifts .. poppers, fuzzy yo yo, etc. It reminded me so much of Dad as this is prob something he would have done if he is still around. I really still can't bear the thought that he's not around anymore.

Day 3 was mainly for ourselves. The hubby and I jogged again without the kids, they wanted to laze around in bed. I stretch an extra 500m to add my previous 2km.. (in hopes to rid the accumulated goodies fat). oh, and I managed to get the speakers for my ipod before before heading my mum's place. with that, it wrapped up my New year.

I did not feel like I was dragged in to work on 4th day of lunar year, so that is a good sign. Cheers to the rest of the months to come!

VD outing

Intially, the hubby wanted to bring me to Kusu Island.. It's strange how he came up with this idea.. insisting that the lagoon there is one of the best spot to swim and relag, but apparently I was totally NOT keen. For one, looking at turtles are not really romatic, right? For two, we can always check into Sentosa for some lagoon fun.

So he went along with the idea to have breakfast at Vivocity, then did almost the whole day of shopping. He did try to book a couple spa but the appointment available was at 9.30pm and will have to end the session at 11.30pm. With the thought that those spa-ers will be dog tired by then and the spa-ees (us) may not enjoy the fullest, we did not go for it.

The budget for the spa however did not go to waste.. *hee*

4 beautiful pcs for 200 bucks.

my favourite piece.

3rd level of the mall, there is a pet safari.. and look how some dogs are dressed for CNY.

see those ears on the poooodle

hey, what nice tail you have there Maltese

the retort

We were preparing to watch RENT at 10pm as it was the children's bedtime. My daughter buay-gum-wan that she cannot watch the movie, asked

Tasha: why cannot watch?!?!
Me: it's not suitable for you to watch now..
hubby: when you are 18 years old, we'll let you watch.
Tasha: but the CD would be spoilt by then and I won't be able to watch ANYMORE!!
me+hubby: o_O

Cupcakes

Had free tasting on Mong's cupcakes - a free ride from other people who will be ordering :P.

The chocolate cakes are absolutely beautiful and yummy, did not manage to eat the plain flavour though. The icing are not so sweet.

verdict: die die must try!!

The tarts are soo good too. The photos here does not make much justice cos it's taken with phone camera, I had to quickly take the shots before they are being gobbled.

Happy Valentine's

For many years, 14th Feb is always ignored.

This year, for some reason, the hubby insists that I take leave, which I reluntantly obliged. Cos for one, I am not so sure if I would enjoy the plans he may have.

I got a gift for him though. It shall be his post christmas, valentine's, pre-birthday gift as it costs me quite a bit... *ker ching*

He will be wearing the Oris, F1 skeleton face.

GE promo - Woman's outdoor challenge

Anyone's interested?
---------------------------------
The Challenge comprises an Individual Event and a Team Event: Individual Event - 5 km Run or 8 km Run Team Event (7 to 15 people) - Combat Laser or Ultimate Frisbee Individual ($20/head)) or Team event LCombat Laser ($50 per head) / Ultimate Frisbee ($20/head) You will receive an email confirmation upon successful registration Sign up now for an exciting day of sports and fun!

the whine

Listening to: Jesus is Alive

Tasha is having a flu. cannot breathe... throat really very painful.. she complains.
Poor sweetie, rushed to the pharma to buy the "pipa gao" and strepsils to soothe them a little.
After that, she rattled on to tell me the cry event that happened on the school bus. She then retreat to her room to finish up her work.

Just so please with my darling girl's progress.

All excited... for HIM

Listening to: praise and worship 2

My first love came back. With a vengence... After the teacher's retreat last month, I found my lukewarm attitude disgusting. I am falling in love over again with Christ.
I hope to spread that excitement to my cell group members then so forth. I suppose, it was a year of real test yesteryear where the workplace has totally no believers. At this new workplace, brother Isaac is so ever encouraging. My mentor wants to attend church again (he stopped going for two years now).
All fired up now, I hope to do a little more than I am doing now.
Starting by emailing encouraging experiences, for sometimes over coversation, i may miss out the most important thing - quotation from the Word.

sometime from a couple of week ago:
This morning, a colleague brought breakfast for about20 of us in the department. His reason for doing sowas to accumulate favour/blessings (ji fu) - as inconfucion studies. (kong zi)As Christians, we do not have that above concept whenwe do good deeds. But on what motivations do we actthat deed?Surely, we know that when we are filled with the loveof God and recognise it, it will become our actions. -> let's really be active in putting discipline in ourlove for others, be it the community or even our cellmembers.We discuss last BS on the love of God and one of theparable to illustrate that is the prodigal son.We know that the father in the parable RAN to hisyounger son. Giving him the robe (of righteousness),the gold ring (inheritance) and the shoes/sandals(son).There is also this elder brother who got upset withhis father for doing being so elated over the youngerunfilial son's homecoming. And reinstating all of thebrother's previous status. While all this while, theelder brother thought that he sacrifice and staybehind to work for his father.the father explained "all I have is already yours"God is concern for you, he wants to protect you andgive you all of what is His to you. However, you donot have to sacrifice for Him. In the case of theelder son, he probably was upset that he sacrifice didnot get recognition. Are we sometimes like that?Thinking that we have given the blessings to othersand seemingly has no returns. Then feel tired andupset?-> When you are feeling tired on loving others,remember that your strength comes from God.The experience of Christ love should be spread aroundus. That is a baby step to bring one to know Christ.Let's continue to uphold everyone of us in prayers.

~~~~~~~
last week :A brother in christ is stumbled by a sister in christ's testimony

Galatians 5:25-6:6 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in stepwith the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other. 1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you whoare spiritual should restore him gently. .... 2 Carryeach other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfillthe law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is somethingwhen he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 Each oneshould test his own actions. Then he can take pride inhimself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load. 6 Anyone who receives instruction in the word mustshare all good things with his instructor.

----------
When we ponder upon the brother's (in christ)reaction,it is evident that he is critical of the sister'sactions. Galatians 5:25-6:5 reminds us again that weshould resolve our planks before judging. Test our ownactions but not comparing. Do not let that hinder usfrom obeying the law of Christ.We shall not dwell on the technicalities of the "moralfault" but focus on doing what is right - for thisinstance, be happy for the sister (in Christ) forbeing out of trouble and continual encourage her,gently to strengthen her walk with Christ.Remember how Jesus was different from the teachers ofthe law. Above all laws, LOVE your fellow men. This isyet another huge topic to discuss. AS for whether what the sister had done was morallyright or wrong... you decide :)Lastly, I am no instructor but please share yourinstruction from the word and share all good thingswith all.(galatians 6:6)

Nathan

The children are discouraged to have too much water before going to bed. Bedtime is strictly 10pm. Before 9pm, I make it a point to remind them to have a cup of water.. provided I am always at home by that time.
Somehow, perhaps motivated by some internal defiance, they like to have at least half a cup of water before bed. Tasha still is able to wake up and go to the toilet by herself. Nathan have had three days of bed wetting thrice in a row in Jan. Thank God for helper to clean up. However, it bothered me.
He says that he dreams of the act (going to toilet) thus it happens in reality. But so many times in a week?!
I noticed last night that his tongue has a patch that the Sinseh says that it is not normal. Something to do with his kidney. He did acupuncture on him and there were some apparent help.
Tonight, the hubby is bringing him to the sinseh to check on the condition again... have to remind him to look into his sinus problem too.

ready?

The hair is now short. Not that I am totally displeased with the cut... it's does make me look more mature and I have the tendency to worry about the visible balding patch on top of my head. on top of that, it's been a long time since i had short hair - now presenting.. the fierce look.



small editing:
it's the 2nd day I have survived at work place with my short hair. I don't even recognise myself when I see my own reflection on the windows.
Suddenly, all the MRT commuter's hair is all so much better than mine. I have the urge to buy a wig for myself. I must stand firm on my decisions of not having short hair in future. NO more short hair ever!!

Oh my!

Finally, going to the hairdresser this evening. It badly needs a trim, give the right colour for the white hair (growing old pains) and some treatment to the hair ends. This is my hair now. I will update the "then" in later post. Pics from my current sony ericsson W810i.

work front:

I felt pretty accomplished after getting back the cases to some of the sales people last evening. But this morning, it became crap all over again! And I am so stuck at most cases now, plus communicating over emails with different time zones is just too hard.. urgh. BUT, I am still glad to take a different role now esp having the experience to deal with overseas partners.

home front:

last night, Nathan and Natasha has calls from school friends.

Nathan is starting to want to hide things from moi. I asked him what is the name of the caller, in his exact words "can I don't tell you?" *grasp*, he's 9 going 10 years old and becoming so secretive?

I charmed him to tell me the name (which is Amelia). I did not comment a single thing in case he refuse to share anything with me in future. note to self : not to tease him anymore about girl school friends.