Actions of our belief

Lunar New Year can be such a contradicting period for us - the Christian Chinese.

There's so many superstitious beliefs that contradicts with the Christian belief. Usually, we go by the rule of thumb - as long as it does not stumble another to understand Christ.

One of the actions I've learnt along my Christian walk is to decline graciously. In the past, when colleagues around me ask me to join them to buy the "hongbao toto", I would scoff at their idea and give them the "i-am-proud-and-mighty" speech. OR, I would go into the extreme, not utter a single word about it and wait for them to collect the monies (which goes into the drain 100% of the time).
Last year, before I can reject it nicely, they have kindly included me into the purchase so that I won't feel left out. I thank them for their thoughtfulness but joke that we may not win cos God won't grant me such luck.

This year, I thank the (another) group for asking but decline nicely. They somehow were quick to detect the reason why I am not participating so they were respect it anyway. Perhaps they are the lot that are kinder and respectful on people who are slightly different.

weekend, continue...

We woke up at 6.15am and got ready to set off for the SAAB duathlon. I run the 5K, they support. This race was against all odds. It's a relay - 5K run/20K cycle/2.5k run. I wanted to join the Saucony run instead but due to the pressure that this is a company sponsored (not main) so the marketing group is rallying to have the most numbers of participants. So I was the first leg, a guy (HT) was the cyclist, then a lady (A) colleague will do the last leg.

HT decided to pull out during registration, I think it's cos he feels he'd lose out as the rest of the members are girls.

So I told the organiser to see if there are any "loose" participants and if we can form a team, I will join. And they did.

On Sunday morning, I saw a message from the cyclist (R) injured his ankle from a minor car accident on Sat and is unable to join. The one who was suppose to do the 2.5k pulled out too cos there will be no cyclist to pass the baton to her.

I still went ahead. Just so to complete my own desire to get that run out of my system. It was tough, the runners are all darn pro!!! As I run, everyone seems to be passing by me and before 1k is done, I looked back and I was the LAST! whoa. It was demoralising. But I persevere... and came in 30mins and was the last 4th. Lesson learnt, definitely not to underestimate corporate runs and MUST practice.

coming in last 5.. ;P

then we roam around the area since it's still pretty early.

SAAB convert

Tiam Hock Keng temple?

Nostalgic breakfast at Chinatown

Work woes...

I wish I had some other ways to keep up to the living standards in Sg.
Especially now when I am feeling all time low in my career. To put into analogy how I am feeling now...

It's so easy to have credit cards in Sg. As long as you earn 30K per annum, you are invited to the whole spread of cards from all sorts of bank - ABN Ambro, StanChart, DBS, UOB, AMEX, Citi, HSBC... each carries their merits so if they keep waiving the annual fee, I continue to oblige having them - all the cards I name will give me ways to get discounts, special deals, VIP invites etc. Some many years ago, I applied for a card name Manhattan. From the start, so far, I have only used it once and felt it was really pointless to carry it. They kept auto waiving my subscription but I felt that it was useless and one point, insisted that they terminate it. It has no value to me, just taking up space in my wallet. Come to think of it, my other StanChart card is never used before either... Back to the Manhattan card - I feel totally like the card now. I wonder if it's my depression mood acting up by blogging this down...

Like the card, I feel shiny and bright. Full of hope to be use for the purpose to be convenient. However, it's pale in comparison to other equally shiny cards because of the value of it. As much as the owner tries, there is no point.
I think my boss and the people I support make me feel that way.

I kept thinking of the next steps - should I continue to peservere in this path or should I find another job and perhaps (and hopefully) fit like a glove?

Is this a test of submission from God? I am so confuse and sad...

Distorted?

I met up an ex-colleague (about my age) over lunch today. We weren't exactly close before, I was in sales and she was my marketing support. There was more work talk than personal sharing when we were.. well.. together.

She's now with another company and since she's in town, we arranged to meet another colleague and myself for lunch. Over the lunch chat, I soon learnt that she's determined to not be married, not have children and aims to die at the age of 45, if she does not die by then desired age, she will take an injection to end her life. She set this "plans" about 5 years ago which means she is still pretty convicted with her "plans" It didn't seem that she's joking or depressed and I am not a guillable(spelling?) person as well.
What really bothered me was the fact she said it like it's really casual and there is no way anyone would change her mind. And she's accepted Christ. I'm not trying to do any bashing upon religion but it's really disturbing to see someone who has known and loved Christ decide on something she knew would disappoint Him.
It was quite a depressing session. The other colleague who went along for this lunch is having marital problems. Apparently, she's already at the non-speaking stage with her spouse.

I however declared loudly that they will be in my prayers. As much as I have no idea what to pray for as I will never know what is best for them but I'll definitely ask God to give them a loving touch.

how many and much is good...

I had my nephews over the whole of 9 days last week. They are 12 and 10. It gave me the chance to see if I could take care of 4 children as if they are of my own. It was all good, as it turns out, they were very obedient and great boys. Meal menu planned, laid down some simple houserules, went through with the 4 kids on their school tests/spelling etc... hey, I'm a pro!
It is not bad an idea to have so many kids in the house, we were able to fill up the monopoly and risk boardgame players. We had more exchanges of ideas on the TV programme we were watching. The house was filled with more laughter and quarrels. But overall, there was more energy filling up the space. But it was still such a short time to access whether it's a joy or pain to have that many children of my own.
I was and am content with just my 2 kids. I'm definitely stopping at 2 and have zero intentions and desires to have more. However, I don't deny that it's a joy to have more kids.. Whatever, God gave us children as like talents. We would need to be good steward over them.

----

Nathan had shown some great improvements in doing some discipline work on his own since this week's school break. He read the Bible and did some home assessment without my asking! That's showing really good signs of maturity.

I had some me-me time at the jog but there were some mental block when I did the rounds, I could only wrap up with 1.4km today. I did 1.9km last fri. Somewhat dissappointed that my stamina did not build up since but the goal is to do 2.4km by end of this week.

AT work, though it was planned that my trip to US was gonna be mid April, it might happen earlier.. uh oh. my boss will let me know when I'll be fed to the sharks.
So Jeff, if you are reading this, I may make my appearance earlier than I'm willing to.

Hubby is super stressed for his work but he had some great news to share. He's promoted! Thank God for His providence and blessings!

going for that trip

My RO asked me if I am ready to go USA (alone) office for two weeks this morning. He mentioned this last month but it still felt too soon for me to tackle the tasks alone there.

I started this new portfolio barely two months ago, to be exact, it's only 7 weeks in the job. That is inclusive of the Lunar new year week! He thinks I'm ready, me thinks otherwise. I asked for another 4 weeks, which means I'll be meeting the US folks in April... I am actually both apprehensive and excited.

Apprehensive probably because of home..Although I've discussed this with the family, I'm not really sure if my hubby can cope. Especially now I am doing most of the fetching, guiding, coaching, planning etc. You see, Mums ALWAYS know better.
Besides being at home to make sure things are in place, I am definite going to miss my darlings. During the 4 days when my hubby and I was in Macau last Dec. As much as I enjoyed just being the two of us, I had wished that the kids were with me. I had thoughts of how they would enjoyed the walks, what they would say about the desserts, how their eyes would have delighted if they saw the height from the tower, how they would look in their cold weather clothings, the things we could have taught them... oh but not without the thought of them fighting each other, heh.

Excited cos.. for one, I've never travelled to USA before. And two, it's great learning experience for me. Not that it'll be easy and non-stress though cos I would prob be fed to the sharks of my colleagues there.. haha. It's business and in all honesty, being on a holiday and on work is an entirely different story. nonetheless, I would have mark this as yet another milestone in my career, an achievement for myself. yes, I'm a mum but also that career woman I set out to be when I wanted to finish my business degree.

Now you see, the struggle of women. We are that female who was groom to work in the society, we are also the female who has inclination to be more sensitive to caregiving.

Oh my!

Finally, going to the hairdresser this evening. It badly needs a trim, give the right colour for the white hair (growing old pains) and some treatment to the hair ends. This is my hair now. I will update the "then" in later post. Pics from my current sony ericsson W810i.

work front:

I felt pretty accomplished after getting back the cases to some of the sales people last evening. But this morning, it became crap all over again! And I am so stuck at most cases now, plus communicating over emails with different time zones is just too hard.. urgh. BUT, I am still glad to take a different role now esp having the experience to deal with overseas partners.

home front:

last night, Nathan and Natasha has calls from school friends.

Nathan is starting to want to hide things from moi. I asked him what is the name of the caller, in his exact words "can I don't tell you?" *grasp*, he's 9 going 10 years old and becoming so secretive?

I charmed him to tell me the name (which is Amelia). I did not comment a single thing in case he refuse to share anything with me in future. note to self : not to tease him anymore about girl school friends.