When I posted on my teenage "love" blunder, I actually didn't remember my anniversary. Not that I am no good at remembering such a day but over years, I've learnt the only way to "mellow" down is to convenient forget and don't expect.
It wasn't so during those infant/toddler years of our marriage. Our passionate character brought us tons of adventure together but it was also disastrous when we disagree! So much energy wasted on those fights. We made it through, we *try to* understand each other's peeves and not provoke it. The fights become less intense, plus the fact that I tend to rely and expect of him much much lesser than before. And he tries to tolerate my nonsense.
Then, there were also times where I think that the marriage is getting functional - for the kids, for sex, for sharing of house, religion ... WHERE is the LOVE? Well, the good thing is - those are passing moments/years.
When we discussed our love language, I'd say I need them all - touch, gift, service, words, time.. greedy? Maybe it's because I think it's possible to execute all of the above if you truly love the person, didn't that happen during courtship?
I have to agree that I am super senstive, demanding and not all considerate. I certainly did not deliver all the love language to him though I ask for all of it. But isn't that our priviledge? for today, a woman has to work outside for the money and take care of the household.
Now - that is me but I am not a meanie. My hubby still loves me till today is on the credit that I do my duty as a wife as best as I can.
So this year, I am pleasantly (not overwhelmed though) surprise that he made the effort to plan, prepare and cook for our dinner.
Tadah! 300gm of Grade 7 Wagyu Sirloin Steak with salad.
He also went to my (our) favourite Darcius to get the lemon tarts and macaroons. Sweetie pie. He didn't perfect it with some flowers or music or candles. But it is his maximum effort and for that, I love him to bits.
He finally got it after so many years! for the upteen times, I said I just want to be in his thought during these special occasion. Not those expensive bouquets, fancy dinners. He finally GOT it! woot! I am happy girl.
My daughter during dinner asks - what did you guys do last anniversary? We were both stumped. I think we were either at GDOP or Wesley Methodist's Aldersgate. haha! IF that happened for the past few years, can you tell that it don't really bother me anymore on this special day.
So cheers to us and more blissful and blessed marriage years to come.
what is LOVE? momo's contribution.
feeling to want to reach out to touch him, look at his every features and memorise them. urge to hold him so close that the breathe momentum becomes one.
what is LOVE? Wikipedia contribution.
Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species
When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing (cf. vulnerability and care theory of love), including oneself (cf. narcissism).
A core concept to Confucianism is Ren ("benevolent love", 仁), which focuses on duty, action and attitude in a relationship rather than love itself.
