After mugging the entire afternoon for the exams that is around the corner. I decided we should stretch ourselves at the nearby park at 6pm. It was a good thing that it poured earlier and we had some great fresh air whilst we take our evening exercise. The kids weren't too enthuse about it, they are the "I-rather-sit-on-couch-and-move-my finger-than-go-out" type of kids. I didn't create them that way, I think hubby's genes has something to do with it.
However the idea that dinner at superdog gave them some good spurge of energy. AND the motivation that they can order whatever they want at the restaurant in exchange that they keep up with us during the brisk walk seemed to work well.
At the restaurant, it dawned on me that the few visits we came, they are always in some ways or other, denied of their want. Being typical value for money person, I'd always go for the meals that gave more - like their buddies meal or their deluxe - which has either no dog or 1 dog. And they share. They'd never enjoy one ripper all by themselves. I realised then that value meal or without, it's actually about S$5 more if they were to get to order the ripper all by themselves! It didn't make a lot of "cents" to me why I would always deny them all these while. But I could see some good sense when I saw that it could push the kids to do things they usually feel less oblige.
I was told, in many ways, when I made my kids do housechores (harder as they grow older), come home by themselves at age 9, carry their own bag pack on overseas trips, no PS or DS or computer game or gameboy for the entire school term, no TV on school weekdays, set high expectations on their results ... that I'm a pushy and "jik ark" (hokkien) mom.
There are only few occasions where I allow flexiblity and my kids learn how to enjoy themselves in other ways when a break is needed. The rule of thumb when I set all these restrictions is - not to drive them crazy and take a lot of effort and time to communicate. And I don't punish if my expectations are not met but to let them know where they've gone wrong and try again - harder this time.
With that, I could force out from them their natural self instinct when they react to these restrictions and teach moral values when it happens to go the wrong direction. I have to say, it is very hard sometimes, especially when they act up when I am tired from work or just wanted rest. I am no perfect mom and don't strive really hard to be one. I am just doing what I think is best to mould a better character.
I hope that they learn that things don't fall on their lap on its own - you've got to earn it.
I hope that they think through priorities.
I hope that they are be able to overcome temptations on their own and practice it daily.
I hope that they learn how to take care of their own things and also for the family - starting from housechores.
I hope that they continue to feel that there are greater things out there in life and strive for them.
So far, I don't think they feel that they lack of anything, it's just that they have to work hard to get to the things that they friends get to enjoy easily. Although they know that we can well afford them.
