we've been doing alot of verbal fights these days between us. I hate it but I've been trying my utmost best to ignore it. It's been like for 8 months already.
Perhaps because there is a bugging resentment in me and when I say it, he does not want to acknowledge it at all.
My temperament is always been on the hot side. To me, I've been calming that alot, it takes enormous effort to do it but he expects it and I do have the feeling that he takes it for granted and does not appreciate.
On top of that, he always gives me the feeling that I can choose to be flexible in my job arrangement. It really does not matter to me to give more to the family but don't treat it like I'm a full time homemaker! I resent the fact that I'm doing everything and contributing to the dough too.
His priority differs alot from me. To him, he is already giving me support by fetching me to the run. But my brother in law not only sends his wife there, when they saw her coming in, they were cheering for her excitedly. Me, I was all alone when I came in and broke into cold sweat cos of my tummy ache and he wasn't there. I was very disappointed and I kept a straight face throughout the entire day and brushed it off my mind till he mentioned that he saw his sisters coming in only after he saw his brother cheering in his wife. I then mentioned that I was really sad that he and the kids was not there, what he answered could have made me fume but i didn't. He said:
1) he did not know where the end point was - hello, I wasn't the first participant to come in, who is he kidding?
2) he had to bring the kids to eat breakfast. He knows that I won't blame him if it's anything to do with kids.
3) he had to go through the science work my nephew had done. At the run? I pity his nephew and wonder why he had to do it during that time.
4) It's hard to lug 3 kids around. Saying as if they were only toddlers, I don't buy this.
I give up hoping, in fact, if I hadn't. I won't be able to sleep with him. Perhaps I have too much expectation. Perhaps I wished he had cared a little more and don't give excuses when he did not.
For now, I'm trying to focus on his plus points so that I can appreciate him more than resenting.
