Today...

Hubby went back to work today after his 2 weeks compliance leave. His boss took the package and her last day was yesterday - no handover, no goodbye. His good friend will be having his last day today. A few he talked worked closely with is already gone. Boy, what a horrendous feeling to see things collasping around you.

The exercise will carry out till this friday. He may or may not be on the list. We can only trust God for his coverage. In times like this, we can only be as steadfast in our faith and positive looking as we can be.

~~~~~~~~~

On a lighter note, he shared with me what transpired between his girl and him when he fetched her to school for her Guzheng class yesterday. Apparently, my girl doesn't aspire to be like me when it comes to spending. In her words - if the thing mommy fancy is good and cheap, she'd buy. But it's very good and nice but expensive, she won't even consider.

This came up as they spoke about shopping money and she remembered shopping with me recently and I tried a dress which she commented that it was very pretty. The tag was $80 so I put it back to the rack but bought a purple tulip skirt for $28 instead. She could not comprehend why I didn't buy the pretty dress. I told her that it was not really value for money since the price tag I had in mind for that dress is $50-60, by that I factored the skirt I bought is 28 and for a dress that covers my top and bottom should be around the same too. She still didn't quite get it so I let it be.
Her daddy asks if she would get that dress if she were me and she says : if you allow me, yes.
She either loved that dress I don that price should not be the determining factor or she does not really understand value for money concept.

I am glad that my kids are well provided for, so money is not a consequence.

Pre-Exam fun

We made a trip to the the Jurong Bird Park before exams came.. and went.

The adventure started even before we reached the park, we almost entered Jurong Island. duh.. we enjoyed ourselves despite the scale of the place. I think we don't mind going again :)

Before the JBP adventure. We supported Nathan's piano teacher who was part of the NAFA orchestra team at the Botanics. So the kids poses with the statue which was presented by the overseas delegates.

Denial, lacking of.. and lesser

After mugging the entire afternoon for the exams that is around the corner. I decided we should stretch ourselves at the nearby park at 6pm. It was a good thing that it poured earlier and we had some great fresh air whilst we take our evening exercise. The kids weren't too enthuse about it, they are the "I-rather-sit-on-couch-and-move-my finger-than-go-out" type of kids. I didn't create them that way, I think hubby's genes has something to do with it.
However the idea that dinner at superdog gave them some good spurge of energy. AND the motivation that they can order whatever they want at the restaurant in exchange that they keep up with us during the brisk walk seemed to work well.
At the restaurant, it dawned on me that the few visits we came, they are always in some ways or other, denied of their want. Being typical value for money person, I'd always go for the meals that gave more - like their buddies meal or their deluxe - which has either no dog or 1 dog. And they share. They'd never enjoy one ripper all by themselves. I realised then that value meal or without, it's actually about S$5 more if they were to get to order the ripper all by themselves! It didn't make a lot of "cents" to me why I would always deny them all these while. But I could see some good sense when I saw that it could push the kids to do things they usually feel less oblige.

I was told, in many ways, when I made my kids do housechores (harder as they grow older), come home by themselves at age 9, carry their own bag pack on overseas trips, no PS or DS or computer game or gameboy for the entire school term, no TV on school weekdays, set high expectations on their results ... that I'm a pushy and "jik ark" (hokkien) mom.
There are only few occasions where I allow flexiblity and my kids learn how to enjoy themselves in other ways when a break is needed. The rule of thumb when I set all these restrictions is - not to drive them crazy and take a lot of effort and time to communicate. And I don't punish if my expectations are not met but to let them know where they've gone wrong and try again - harder this time.
With that, I could force out from them their natural self instinct when they react to these restrictions and teach moral values when it happens to go the wrong direction. I have to say, it is very hard sometimes, especially when they act up when I am tired from work or just wanted rest. I am no perfect mom and don't strive really hard to be one. I am just doing what I think is best to mould a better character.

I hope that they learn that things don't fall on their lap on its own - you've got to earn it.
I hope that they think through priorities.
I hope that they are be able to overcome temptations on their own and practice it daily.
I hope that they learn how to take care of their own things and also for the family - starting from housechores.
I hope that they continue to feel that there are greater things out there in life and strive for them.

So far, I don't think they feel that they lack of anything, it's just that they have to work hard to get to the things that they friends get to enjoy easily. Although they know that we can well afford them.

A totally different weekend

We broke aways from the norm this weekend and it was fulfilling.

Our usual children activities packed weekend started with a leisure Sat morning at my sister's place. Nathan and Tasha is at church camp the whole day.
We played with Isaac, exchange DVD dramas, update on things and watch Nigella's cooking.

Breakfast was in simple western style and a few nice laughs. Isaac (Z) Ong on my legs

We got home to rest, watch some LEGENDS episodes and napped. Then it's time to work on the pot bless I am suppose to bring over for FIL's birthday party.

Fried Sotong balls and my signature carbonara penne pasta (with Japanese sausage and pan fried salmon fillet pieces.

I changed and decided to take some nice pics. Nigella always does this before her party :) ok, okay, I took a few shots before reaching this one I like

then at the party.... the usual, there's mahjong, there's boredom, there's DVD watching... .... and camera, action, take.

My unmarried (read: alot of money to spend) sisters in law are into getting premium cakes. This time, they got it from The Patissier. It's really something the cake.

The hazelnut biscuit base made to the snap slightly between your lips, the cream is light yet still has that sweet, slightly sappy sour taste of passionfruit. The sponge is tightly wrapped vertically with that cream.. thumbs up.

Happy birthday to you.. and he's 69 still going strong!

(L-R) top: Si Hao, Nathan, Gong Gong, Por Por, Natasah, Si Hui (aka Mr Bean), Si Han.
(L-R) bottom: Jun Jie, Jing Heng, Jun Xiang, Si Hong
All nine of the grandchildren. The eldest 17 years old, youngest 8.

can you spot them when they are younger? The youngest in the latter pic is 2 years old - that a not long 6 years ago :)

update of sunday activity tomorrow...

Liar Liar, pants on fire?

Sometime ago, I discussed with some friends that my girl is a "convenient" liar. She tells her teacher one thing and spin an entire different tale to me. Plus, she is very believable. She was not punished but certainly didn't go without getting reprimanded. I had no idea how to deal with her because it hasn't gone on the seriously bad and I hate to be harsh. My son is no angel. But so far, he hadn't been caught lying.

Earlier this week, our colleague whom we fondly call "Pastor" because of his sound advise all the time on our Christian faith, said that he seldom corrects his daughter when she lies.
He admitted that he lied about having a remote control airplane at home when he didn't when he was younger.
It kinda blew me off to think that he condone to this sin. Didn't the Bible's commandment say "Thou shalt not lie"???

Coincidently, Cottontimer a.k.a. Hsien put up an article that provide some comfort to us parents who are eager to put our babes in the right track.

So now, this is such a complicated situation. Was I disciplining the wrong things - ALL these time??? And I've made my BP high, my heart beat faster, grow ulcers over teaching them these things that I thought will bring them up to be morally and biblical upright????

Ah.. but the HS prompted and provides with the answer which comforts me.
Why do you fret when you are but a steward over the children. God will guide and teach. It is better to be God righteous than to be self righteous.
Thanks to Him, Nathan and Natasha will turn out alright.

kids questions

I am trying out the telecommunting scheme every Wednesdays. Last week, I had breakfast with my girl and she asks the strangest questions.
- Why do babies die in the stomach?
Her question took me quite by surprise and after answering her. It got me thinking on how I just wanted a normal, healthy baby then and how I've progress to demand so much more from her now. There are times like this that brings me back to the equilibrium. What are the essential moral education and when will it be too much to ask when I try to push her to do more than she wants to. I could be too loop sided sometimes in trying to think that it's their potential but I need to be more sensitive in not going on to lose the bond over the eagerness for their success.

When I asks why the question, it's apparently just another topic her friends and her discussed.

hmmm....

Then, my son asks me yet another strange question after our jog last evening.
- Do you put money in CPF?
- How do you do so?
- How do those who has their own business put money in CPF?
I thought it strange since it really doesn't affect a 10 year old very much. This is more factual so it's much easily tackled. He shrugged when asked why the questions, saying that there are just this hype over CPF monies and he just wanted to know the basis of it.

It's times like this I am amaze how "grown" they are and they are really thinking kids, not babies anymore. At 10 and 7, they curiosity and attitude are at the next level.

wow.

look-a-like meter

my sis put this up and I thought it'd be quite fun too to try to do the matching..





I have stronger genes?

About Cats

Hubby dislike cats, kittens. I had to come to his "rescue" at each appearance of a cat when we eat at the hawker centres.
We went to Ubi to have our Sunday lunch, Natasha spotted a grey striped kitten and went to it. The poor meow is thin to its bones and its right eye is infected. Tasha was talking to it and I can simply see her heart melted for it.
To distract her, I told her we will come back to check if the kitten is there after our lunch. She was totally easy for lunch, gobbled up her lunch before I can say hocuspocusdoddlelillydiddle.
She waited restlessly for me to finish my food as she was not allowed to visit the kitten on her own.
Alas, the kitten was still there when we returned. I told her that her daddy will not allow her to bring home. And the kitten is very sick already. I didn't expect that she would feel so much for the meow. Her tears came down. I cannot bear to see her that way because I am a softie when it comes to stray kittens too.
She tried to talk her daddy into rearing it but (expectedly) hubby will not be persuaded. She then returned to her seat and quietly sobbed. Not the sulking kind though.

It striked me that it's another milestone for her. She had never ask for pets, everytime we visit the shop where the hamsters, cats, rabbits are so cute, she will never ask to get them home. Perhaps because we already have a dog at home. But for this kitten, she simply could let go and I could feel so much compassion from her for the stray.

toggling

I've got some post at life journal. Why so?

b'cos i cannot get the media embed here, I manage to get a few posts at LJ with uploaded video! Or perhaps it's only me who cannot do it here...


otherwise, i like the feeling of seclusion here at blogger. So thus this blog.



I have a dry cough and losing voice. The doc was not able to affirm what's the exact cause, there is no pain in/out my throat, there's a slight swell on the right tonsil that causes the dry cough but it should not have affected my voice box.


So I've decided to log into mails from home and try to work after this early morning's conference call with the US folks. Just in case my virus becomes lethal to some sitting nearby. Try to work? because most applications are still accessible only in the office.



Perhaps it was due to stress teaching the little ones. Nathan kena big time chastise from me. He is an achiever but hell of a lazy bum.
I found out that his chinese 造句, 作文, 写词.. workbook were not done. One of it left a teacher's remarks 不要懒惰. There were so many time and chance to finish up on Friday, Sat and Sun but it was simply left undone. There were several (too many) 改正 that was not done too.
I am one who believe that one person's success attributes from 80% hardwork and 20% intelligence.



I hate to be labelled a "Kiasu" mum. I honestly wasn't trying to boost his results up. He did really quite well for his mid year. All in the band 1 region. tis time, it was more of my believe. I firmly believe that having the right attitude, right morals and right religion goes a long long way. God dictates how the children will live their lives. I only have but the stewardship role. I cannot and won't condone to laziness.



Ms Tasha on the other hand gives us a different challenge altogether. She is loving and can give some wit answers at times. But she's fond of lying. Okay, fond of lying is rather heavy. She's lies quite a fair bit. Not sure why that nature but it should really be nip very soon if not immediately. It is so natural for a person to lie under pressure to perform, right. Did I force that, perhaps.. let me take a recent example, I asked if she is okay with the guzhen lessons, she says it was all good. How was I to know that she had weakness in rythum unless she does not feel that she needs to excel in front of me. I honestly did not impose any standard on her guzheng. I even bought a set for her to practice at home. Perhaps my natural high expectations has taken a toll on her.

tasha and her $800 package guzheng

In terms of acedemic, she is rather poor in grasping concepts for Maths. I am so leaving this to hubby. I might come close to strangling this poor girl if I teach. haha. that is how little patience I have with my own kids. I wish God would pour more of that fruit on me instantenously rather having to mould this trait.

I wish I was more easy going, let loose, live more carefree. But most times, I tend to care more than I should. It's funny how parenting makes us do. We have no qualms in buying anything for them, $800 guzheng, $130 for piano lessons, $400 for the classical piano (2nd hand). Bird's nest for them - easily a few hundred bucks. Dong cong cao, Ginseng. Whatever expensive items you name that will make them grow into well adjusted, educated, all rounder, I'll get. Sometimes, even to the extend of getting the cheapest quote around for Ninetendo Wii, one of the reason why we've not got it yet. When they were younger, the time was the biggest sacrifice.

Is it all worthwhile. yes, I believe it does. I don't mind what i've given to them and have not thought of getting it all back. I just want to have sensible, well adjusted kids. In all hope, to make this world a better place.

the children we make

On the way to work at 10.30am (that's another story), I witnessed something that was disturbing. A man came up together with a school kid (from St Hilda's secondary school) and was trying to ask him for directions (in Mandarin). They were sitting directly opposite me. The man must have scribbled something on his little notebook and he was pointing at the book and telling the boy that he needs to get to Buona Vista MRT, he wanted to know if it was the right train he had hopped on. The kid had no idea, shrug off to his questions most times, did not even try to see if there was any way he could help but seemed despair. I was on my iPod but I could hear the guy, not that he was loud but I noticed what he was asking. In the end, the man just slump on the chair and gave up. The kid with a nonchalant expression, went back on his earpiece.
I promptly took off my earpiece and said " Sian sheng, ru guo ni yao tao Buona Vista, ni zai tui de che" He was so thankful and immediately sat up.

The immediate thought was: what if it was Nathan or Natasha? I would have so shameful of their little knowledge of singapore and worse, unhelpfulness! this kid could jolly well be like my kids, always being fetched around so they don't really know where does the train lines go. In most cases, parents move nearer to the school their children attends, so that they don't have to travel so *far* and be tired out. We worry so much about children's school results and did not care much about their GK or even allow their survival instinct to run!
when I was younger, I started taking public bus at the age of 8 from Commonwealth to Middle Road. There was this time when me and my sis got lost and we end up at the terminal. The kind bus uncle brought me to another bus and told us where to stop.

Some of my friends argued that it's too dangerous, our time has kind souls but these days, you never know...
Are there too many excuses these days for us to pamper our kids. So much that they are given too much but does not learn how to earn it?
I am as guilty as any parents who pampers but thank God, this is such a good incident that "opened" my eyes to see what is really happening!
Not that I will start to take away lest they suffer withdrawal syndrome, but I would really start to really scrutinise on my givings. It's disastrous to think how painful it'll be for them when they have to vie for themselves and find that they are not at all equipped.